a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
