i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
