At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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