You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
