Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
i drank out of a bidet.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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