I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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