I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
