please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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