I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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