whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
