There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
