I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize