if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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