I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
high people should be assigned attendants
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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