she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
