things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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