the new term for farting is butt boxing.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
