You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
