OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
