I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
