Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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