I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
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