i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
