I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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