that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
