My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
