An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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