The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I deserve this hangover.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
