one might say we're banned from that church
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
