SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I had to cum in my sink.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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