You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
be right there i have to get my cape
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
