she kept yelling 'call me bella'
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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