You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
