If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
