Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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