On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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