It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
