no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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