ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
