when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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