I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
