He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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