I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
