The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
