If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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