I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
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