Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
