I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
