Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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