now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She's the barista slut.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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