super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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