i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
