before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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