last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
