She went from zero to smokin in five shots
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
God gave him joint rollers for hands
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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