The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
