I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
