discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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