I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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