Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
