I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
