Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
