Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
