If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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