I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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