oh god the rape fog is back!
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
