I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
