We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
