Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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