In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
